angryjew

I stayed at my cousins’ house for Shabbos, where I picked up a very interesting book entitled “When Moshiach Comes” by Rav Yehudah Chayoun. The book was approved by a rather impressive list of scholars who are considered this generation’s Torah leaders, including Rav Kanievsky, Rav Elyashiv and Rav Scheinberg. In any case, it brought down a lot oof sources about what the world will be like during the Messianic era and honey, I gotta tell you, it ain’t pretty. It made Stephen King sound like Louisa May Alcott.

But there is hope.

It is brought down from Talmudic and other rabbinic sources that there is one thing that a Jew can do to save himself from all of these travails, including the final war of Gog and Magog, (something else I forgot) and hell itself.

Make kiddush, wash for bread and eat three meals on Shabbos. That’s one Friday night, one Shabbos morning/noon, and one same day before twilight.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, you need not castigate yourselves by whip or physical penance. You need not sit atop a mountain and meditate whilst munching on scant leaves. Wash for bread and eat three meals on Shabbos, and you will be saved from the perils of war and the tortures of hell.  Imbibe a respectable feast three times in one 24 hour period and you will have done the will of G-d, meriting His compassion.  Eat up, enjoy, and be safe.

How I love my religion.  That’s a win-win situation right there.  It’s hard to do if the day is short or if you’re still digesting your chulent, and Melave Malke (the meal after Shabbos is over that feeds the luz, the bone from whence resurrection at the end of days is said to spring) is a killer if you ate too much over Shabbos… but yo!!  To eat is the service of G-d!!!  Hallelu-ka.

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